Fic: See Me Through (2/3)

[cat_sdgirl]

Title: See Me Through - Part 2
Fandom: Supernatural
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: This story starts after the episode 'Dark Side Of The Moon'
Beta: icelily01     *Thank you so much sweetie :)*
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Summary: What happened after Dean throws the necklace in the trash. 
A/N: Song used in this story: 'Crawl' by The Superchick
A/N2: Icon made by the lovely jessicajay22 

Comments are love :D

 

Bar Harbor, Maine

1995

 

 

Sam was looking at the sea thinking about his brother and father.

Today Dean went hunting with dad for the first time and Sam was worried. He’s always worried when dad is away, but now he feels even worse that Dean isn’t there with him.

 

It’s already dark and Sam knows he should be in the motel room like he promised, but he just couldn’t help coming here. The beach is deserted but he’s not afraid, it’s like this place has a strange sense of security and Sam likes it a lot. He feels good here, not so worried.

 

He is twelve years now but sometimes he feels like he is forty, because he is always concerned with if his dad his alive every time he finds a new hunt, but he always had Dean there to make him feel better. But now that Sam is alone, he needs something else to make sure they come back okay and safe.

He looks around him and finds a small rock, flat and soft. It’s white and Sam thinks it’s perfect for what he wants to do. He takes the knife he brought with him, a bad habit coming from Dean’s influence, and marks in the rock “Dean and Dad = Home”. When he thinks his work is good, he drops the knife in the sand and moves closer to the water. His feet are getting wet but Sam doesn’t mind, he actually likes the tender and calming feeling. He is holding the rock to his chest tightly; he looks at the sky and says:

                                                           

“I don’t know if you’re in there, but if you are, please, just listen to me. I promise I won’t take much of your time-”

 

He takes a deep and steady breath and continues, “I know that you probably are always called by every person on the planet, but I don’t have anyone else to ask this and you are my only hope. I have a family, my dad and Dean, and they are hunting a bad monster right now. Their work is very dangerous and I’m scared for them. Can you please bring them back safe to me? I swear I won’t ask anything else for myself, I really just want them alive and with me. I can’t imagine my life without my family, so please just save them from the monster!”

 

Sam stops the prayer and throws the rock into the sea, hopping the message would get to its destination. He doesn’t know if God would give him any importance to actually listen to him, but it’s important for Sam to just ask for help and have faith that something bigger is watching over his family.

He stays there, watching the sea moving slow and gracefully, until the sun shows up in the sky. Then he hears Dean’s voice, not far away, calling his name, scared and worried. He starts running toward the voice but stops suddenly. He runs back to the water and says a quick “Thank you!” with a huge smile on his face. Then he starts moving to his family again.

 

*    *
*    *

 

Bar Harbor, Maine

2010

 

“So this is your happy memory?” asks Castiel, looking curiously at Sam.

 

“Yes, one of them. When Dean came back from the hunt alive and healthy, I really thought that God heard me after all. Since then I never stopped praying for Dean and dad to be safe.”

 

He missed this place so much! It’s still perfect and beautiful like he remembers. The pretty blue sea, calm and quiet, the white sand, soft and warm and the rocks are equal to the one he used when he was twelve.

 

“So… why didn’t this memory show up when you were in Heaven?”

 

Sam knows Castiel is truly confused, but he can’t explain it completely. He remembers when he got there, he woke up in the same beach and everything was the same, only Sam was fifteen years older. He started panicking when he thought demons were trying to destroy one of the best moments of his life, so he tried to forget and pretend that memory didn’t exist and if he could do that, they would never catch it. He thought hard about something else, and unexpectedly the place around him changed to that Thanksgiving dinner.

 

“Oh I see, you thought you were in Hell.”

Looking hard at the angel, Sam frowns and pouts at the same time, “Will you stop reading my mind, please?”

 

“Sorry, you’re thinking too loud. But it’s true, right?”

 

“Yes, of course it’s true. Me in Heaven? Really, Cas? I can’t go to Heaven! I don’t deserve to go there anymore. So it’s understandable that I was thinking I was in Hell. But when Dean showed up in front of me I knew I was wrong because Dean couldn’t go to Hell, it wouldn’t be fair. After that, I just didn’t think about the repressed memories anymore, with the angelic chase and all, and they just stayed in the back of my head. I never thought that Dean would get angry with it… I just didn’t think…”

 

He moved passed Cas and looked at the sea. He was sad again, his stomach was twisted and he felt awfully guilty.

 

“But Sam, if you just said-“

 

“No Cas, I couldn’t. If I told the truth, he would be angrier, he would think I was using my ability again and he would be disappointed. I didn’t want that… I don’t want that!”

 

He fell on the soft sand and started moving his hand slowly over it. His fingers left small patterns on the surface that didn’t make any sense, like Sam’s head right now. He was so distracted that he didn’t hear Castiel talking to him.

 

“-you two are idiots, do you know that?”

 

“Yeah, I think I’ve heard that before.” Sam said, a sad smile on his face.

 
 

“Why did you want to come here, Sam?”

 

Sam looked at Cas for a minute, thinking how stupid he was for doing what he was about to do. But he really didn’t have a choice, he needed to do it.

 

“Please don’t laugh at me, but this place is my only hope to stop Dean from saying yes.”  

O Lord, Where are you?
Do not forget me here
I cry in silence
Can you not see my tears?

He looked at the sea again. He didn’t turn to the sky because he knew the receptor of his message was on earth this time, so he was depositing his hope, strength and heart on that water.

 

Sam grabbed the necklace, now free from his shirt, and said loud: “I know you don’t want to talk to me right now, but I’m begging you to listen just this time! I made a horrible mistake, and there’s no forgiveness for me, but I’m not strong enough to fix what I did. I really tried, but I just can’t. So I’m here to ask you a huge favor.”

 

He stopped to think his next words. He was a little scared of doing this. What if it doesn’t work? What would he do then?

 

“I don’t want to ask anything for myself, like I promised once, but I’m begging you to stop Lucifer! Dean is going to sacrifice himself, like he did all his life to protect others, to stop the devil and I can’t let him die again. Not because of me! I don’t deserve that, not even close, but he won’t listen to me and he’s going to do it. If that happens, a lot of people will die in the battle between Michael and Lucifer, and it’s not fair. They don’t even know what’s going on around them. So I’m here again to ask you to protect them all. I’m not here only for Dean, but for Bobby, Castiel and every other person who deserves to live a normal and happy life. A-And if you save them, I-I want y-you to put me in H-Hell as an e-exchange. I deserve to stay there and I-I don’t want t-to hurt anyone else!”

 

He was shaking like he was in the middle of a storm, scared that God would really put him in Hell, but he had to make the offer because it was the best he could do. He doesn’t belong here anymore, not after everything he did to his family, friends and the rest of the world.

 

While he was trying to calm down, he felt a strange form underneath his foot. He looked at it closely and his heart stopped. It wasn’t possible! It was there - in the sand – the same stone he threw at the sea fifteen years ago.

 

Now, with the rock in his hand, the words there so clear like Sam wrote them only yesterday, he started crying and laughing at the same time.

 

“Cas, look at this! I think he heard me!”

 

When Castiel didn’t respond he looked behind him and what he saw made him freeze. The angel was there, but he wasn’t alone. Sam felt his heart skip a beat-

 

“Dean-“   



 

Comments

[lazy-8s.livejournal.com]

I loved Sam's memory of the beach, but I never expected Dean to show up. Could he have heard Sam and Castiel's conversation? Awesome chapter!

[cat-sdgirl.livejournal.com]

Well, I guess you'll see that on the next part :D
I hope you'll like my idea for the end!
Thanks for reading and for the comment sweetie *hugs*

[authoressnebula.livejournal.com]

Yay for a new chapter! You've just made my night, I swear. Oh Sammy. ♥ He's such a sweetheart. I love how you have him here. And I hope to god that he heard Sam because he so needs to hear it.

And then there shall be a happy ending, yes? ^_^

~Nebula

[cat-sdgirl.livejournal.com]

I made your night? Really? Wow I'm happy to hear that :)
I'm glad you like Sam here. For me, it's a lot more easy to write all types of Sam then Dean. That's why it was hard to write the last part.. But I hope you'll like Dean too *grins*
And I always give you a happy ending!
Thanks for the comment hon and more really soon :D
*hugs*

[darkstar7789.livejournal.com]

Great fic. I absolutely loved his memory because truth be told, when I saw that episode I thought Sam was a selfish prick. I hated him for having only memories about leaving his family and being away from his family. Thanks so much for this part. It was seriously schmoopy. :) Wonderful job. Can't wait for the final part. ;)

[cat-sdgirl.livejournal.com]

Thank you hon :)
I know... I've always been a Sam!girl, but that episode made me really sad, so I guess that my mind tried to change that xD *crazy head*
I hope you'll like the end I wrote, it's hard for me to write what is in Dean's mind, but I tried *smiles*
Thanks for the comment!
*hugs*

[palodoecious.livejournal.com]

I really like this! so beautiful that memory!

[cat-sdgirl.livejournal.com]

Thank you hon!
I'm glad you liked it :D
*hugs*