I'll Find You Somewhere - 5.22 Coda

[cat_sdgirl]

Title: I'll Find You Somewhere
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Spoiler for the episode 'Swan Song'
Beta: icelily01 
Disclaimer: I own nothing
Summary: "Dean was dying. He was sure of that as much, as he knew he was alone."
A/N: I really really need  to thank to icelily for being my beta! Thank you so much sweetie, you're amazing :)
A/N2: The name of the fic is from the song 'Somewhere' by Within Temptation.

 

Dean was dying. He was sure of that as much, as he knew he was alone.

 

His soul was in Hell, because he wasn’t capable of letting his Sammy die alone. And his body was left here, dead to the world, just an empty frame whose movements were connected to a desperate attempt at make his brother’s last wish come true. But even with all his efforts to pretend he was doing just that, he was feeling his body shutting down, following the same road his heart had already taken. He didn’t know what to do anymore to keep himself where he was, to fight for a life he didn’t want to have. Not in a million years, not without his family!

 

He caught himself looking at his car again. Over the last two weeks he had done this so many times he actually lost count of them. Dean just felt that the Impala was the only thing that made his bond with Sam real, his smell, heat, heartbeat and spirit was all inside the car, their only home. That and the necklace – the one that Sam gave to him so many years ago – it was on his neck now. Sam, before he was gone, left it in the middle of Dean’s things, for him to find. It was a gift again, Sam was offering a part of himself to Dean, a second chance, and this time he wasn’t going to let go – he couldn’t even if he wanted to – because Dean loved his brother more than anything, more than himself and the world put together and Dean couldn’t take it. He was feeling like he was drowning and there was no surface to break free. Sam was his freedom and this time he wasn’t there to save Dean’s heart, so he couldn’t stop himself from falling.

 

When he noticed he was moving, he saw himself in his car driving to the same park he went every day for the last few days. It was dark, but Dean didn’t mind because he knew he couldn’t sleep so he just let himself go.

 

Nightmares. Dean’s life was one, vivid and scary, but when he let himself sleep the memories from Hell came back again with real force. But now it wasn’t him who was in the images, it was Sam. And he saw his brother being hurt in every way he could remember and sometimes Dean really wished his old dreams would come back.

 

Dean crossed the park and found the place he always stayed in. There was a lake, so calm and dark blue and Dean would look at it for hours, until the sun started changing the colors of the lake, making it baby blue. But this time Dean wasn’t looking at the lake but at the sky. It was so full of stars that Dean was almost tempted to ask if they could bring his baby back, and he wanted it so bad it hurt. But he knew that the only thing that could hear him were some angels and they were probably laughing their asses off because of him, and he didn’t want anything to do with them anymore. He actually hated them a-

 

“You know, you look like you want to kill the sky. Even if you can do almost anything, you know you still can’t do that, right?”

 

Dean’s heart stopped beating and he felt the world around him start spinning. It couldn’t be real, it was just his mind playing tricks on him. But it felt so good to hear that sound again, so beautiful that it made Dean’s eyes wet.

 

“I know that face too! You’re not crazy and you’re not dreaming. I came back for good. I’m not a demon or any other supernatural thing that comes to your mind, it’s just me, only me-“

 

Tears fell from Dean’s eyes like a waterfall and he was shaking without any strength to stop. But he turned around anyway and Sam was there, tall and beautiful like always and he was smiling gently at him.

 

“Sam-“he felt his voice fail but he knew Sam heard him because he starts moving closer to Dean. His heart was beating like crazy and his skin was starving for his brother’s touch. Still crying, Dean raised his hands trying to reach Sam, to make everything real.

 

“It’s okay Dean, I’m here. Please don’t cry!” Sam put his arms around him, pulling Dean against his chest, and in that moment Dean felt his soul enter his body. He was alive again, his heart beating with the same rhythm of Sam’s heart, and Sam’s heat enveloping him and making him human once more, making the real Dean wake up.

 

“How is this possible, Sam? Please tell me you’re staying here!” Dean was desperate to know, he couldn’t lose his baby brother again, it would kill him for sure.

 

“Don’t worry, I’m here for good.” Said Sam with a puppy expression on his face, his eyes glowing, making Dean’s stomach tight. “Did Cas tell you that God brought him back?” and with Dean’s little ‘yes’ he continued “Well, his theory is that God brought me back too. And I actually think he’s right because when I woke up in that cemetery I was completely clean. And when I say clean, I really mean it!” Sam ended his speech laughing but Dean was really confused now.

 

“What do you mean? I don’t get it-“

 

“Sorry, I’ll explain.” Sam answered with a little blush on his cheeks, which was the most adorable thing Dean had ever seen. “When Cas found me he said I didn’t have any demon blood in me, not even a little! I don’t have any of Azazel’s blood so now I’m just Sam.”

 

Dean felt like crying again so he hugged Sam harder to stop himself. God, he still didn’t believe Sam was really here with him, this time forever. And for the first time in his life Dean was happy.

 

“I missed you so much, Sammy! So much! Please don’t leave me again.”

 

“I promise Dean, I won’t go anywhere.” Sam said kissing Dean’s forehead. “Everything will be okay now. I missed you too!”

 

Dean raised his head from Sam’s chest and smiled for the first time in weeks. When Sam smiled back, Dean stroked his cheek making Sam’s eyes close with pleasure, “Dean”.

 

“I love you” Then Dean kissed him slowly, trying to memorize every detail of his Sammy, his brother, best friend, lover, he was Dean’s life, his everything!

 

Sam broke the kiss and took Dean’s hand in his, lacing their fingers together. He pushed Dean back to the Impala saying “Let’s go home.”



 

 

Comments

[baboomstick.livejournal.com]

Ah, the ending with Sam's, "Let's go home," and then takes Dean to the Impala broke my heart! This is why I don't read the codas!!!! They kill me. Beautiful sweetie, just beautiful.

[cat-sdgirl.livejournal.com]

I don't know where this came from, to be honest with you. But I was in such a sad mood that I wrote the first thing that came to my mind xD
thank you hon, you are so kind, and thanks for the comment :)
love you

[icelily01.livejournal.com]

Only too happy to help, dear. Would love to beta for you again sometime. And well...you already know what brilliance I think you've written :D

[cat-sdgirl.livejournal.com]

:) I would love to work with you again!
Thanks a lot :D

*big hug*

[darkstar7789.livejournal.com]

That was so sweet. *teary* Oh my gosh when I was watching the ending of that episode, I was crying so hard. I love your coda it is seriously awesome. :)

[cat-sdgirl.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much! You're really sweet :)
I cried like a baby with this episode and in the next days I was so sad that I had to write something cute to make me happy again *grins*
Thanks for the comment hon!
*big hug*